International – Canyoning Nirvana Day 1: Bodengo 2 & 3 (Lombardia)

Remember that kid in school who thought it was fun to stand in front of concert speakers outputting 130db and you just knew they were frying their ears for seemingly no good reason? On Day One of our trip, it turned out that we were that ambitious kid. Please learn from our mistakes – emulation and replication is not recommended.

We booked our flights early and decided to fly into Zurich rather than the usual (and easier) Milan connection since Zurich was cheaper and well, in Switzerland after all.

The plan was to drive to Gordona, Italy and to meet Pascal at his home turf in the Lombardia region of Italy. We would warm-up in the highly popular Val Bodengo on Saturday before driving 2 hours over to Ticino and running something “interesting” with some of his other clients on Sunday.

This set in motion what can only be described as the most epic day that Andy or I have ever experienced:

Friday, 8:30 a.m. PST: We depart Los Angeles.

Friday, 11:40 p.m. PST (8:40 a.m. local): We arrive Zurich and jump in rental car. With customs and paperwork, we finally hit the ignition switch just after 10:00 a.m. and drive straight into mid-city Saturday morning traffic.

Saturday, 3:00 a.m. PST (12:00 p.m. local): We enter the Splugen Pass, voted the most exciting road in the world to ride on a motorcycle and simultaneously one of the great feats and failures of road engineering. The first hour on the Swiss uphill side is a seemingly never-ending series of unmarked switchbacks playing chicken with descending vehicles.

Saturday, 4:00 a.m. PST (1:00 p.m. local): As scary as the Swiss ascent is, it pales in comparison to the horror show on the Italian side descent. Not content to stare death in the face on the upper section, we foolishly ignore the Garmin and take the left at the split halfway down and end-up on the horrifyingly insane “old road” instead of the only slightly insane “new road” to the right.

With numerous unlit tunnels, single width switchbacks and minimal fencing, this descent can politely be described as a real brown trouser affair that should be carefully weighed by all vehicle occupants before being inserted into an itinerary.

Saturday, 5:00 a.m. PST (2:00 p.m. local): We arrive in Gordona and meet Pascal, our guide and gracious host. Pascal laughs at our drained faces from the flight and Splugen Pass and tells us that he has just the thing to cheer us up – a special 5-hour tour of Bodengo 2 and 3.

We jump in the car for a short drive up to Sosta Pincee – a beautiful “agriturismo” hotel and restaurant run by proprietors Guiseppe and Matilde.

Rustic Sosta Pincee – a wonderful starting place.

The Italian government certifies Sosta Pincee as an “Agriturismo” hotel and restaurant that exclusively features food grown on-site or in the local region. Pascal owns and operates “Canyoning Tours.”

Saturday, 5:30 a.m. PST (2:30 p.m. local): Daylight burning, we quickly suit-up, kiss our partners good-bye and slide downhill for 2 minutes to a “special” entry point that by-passes the traditional entry of Bodengo 2.

Pascal is laughing as our bloodshot eyes adjust to the afternoon light in the canyon. Andy and I exchange a fist pump and we’re off – the first move is a 10 meter wake-up jump into cold crystal clear water that is so clean that we will be able to drink it all week long.

The cold water slaps our face like the tail of a 40 pound Wahoo – the adventure has now officially begun.

Time to get the party started – our first step of the week is a 10 meter slap across the face.

A quick series of smaller jumps and toboggans follow but then we turn a corner and 3 minutes into our delightful afternoon of fun find ourselves staring down an 8 meter vertical toboggan affectionately called “the whale’s mouth.”

Pascal is now in full laughter mode as our jaws drop and he explains that we need to point our toes and keep our arms tucked in. I find myself smiling having finally found a real use for learning the Michael Jackson crotch grab dance move.

Andy enters the “Whale Mouth”. Please note, the wide angle GoPro lens makes things appear flatter than they are.

That’s a 6’2” slab of Canadian bacon about to freefall below the slide. We immediately abandoned our DSLRs right after these initial pictures – while they had proved invaluable in U.S. canyons, we just couldn’t protect them from the forces of these waterfalls.

It’s important to enter straight – the entry velocity is similar to performing a jump.

After the Whale’s Mouth, Bodengo 2 continues to slap our jet lagged faces with a series of jumps and toboggans mainly in the 8 – 10 meter range and concludes with a single 12 meter “step-off” into a narrow slot. We quietly nosh on some Clif Bars and remind ourselves that we are having the time of our lives.

Warmed up and refreshed, we launch into Bodengo 3 with more jumps and toboggans and then turn a corner and are greeted by the infamous “Bone Crusher” toboggan that we have been dreaming about. It is significantly bigger, louder and with more water than it appears in the YouTube videos. Pascal gives some brief instructions and then we mentally prepare to be launched 7 meters into the air before dropping into the pool below.

The roar of the water is deafening as Andy is about to slide right, let go, lay-back and await his fate.

“Houston, we have lift-off” – Andy launches into orbit with limbs helplessly flailing.

The “Bone Crusher” rightfully earns its name because of its tendency to spit canyoneers out in all directions (including backwards) and then knock their breath out upon landing. Here is the unglamorous Canadian reentry from orbit.

Almost done, we just have one more 12 meter leap and a final hanging rope traverse and 14 meter jump before dragging our weary carcasses back to our waiting partners, sustenance and sleep.

“There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”

The lenses are fogged but the distance is real – 14 meters in Bodengo 3 brings new personal height records for Andy and I.

With Bodengo 2 and 3 complete, we now hike 20 minutes uphill to Pascal’s van and then try to stay awake during the 5 minute drive back to Sosta Pincee. It is now 7:30 and dark as we park and our partners are standing outside with flashlights. I can barely stand but the few remaining synapses in my brain record my wife saying that we have 20 minutes to shower and get dressed for dinner.

Saturday, 11:00 a.m. PST (8:00 p.m. local): After a quick rinse off, we sit down to what my wife has told me was a wonderful, romantic dinner filled with incoherent words and short phrases such as “I want my mommy”. Seriously, I couldn’t be happier if only I could lift the fork to my mouth instead of hitting my nose.

The last sentence before leaving the table at 9:15 p.m. registers as “we need to depart for Iragna at 6:00 a.m. so let’s meet out front at 5:50 a.m.”

DAY ONE TICINO TIPS:
Ideal group size: We were just 2 canyoneers with our partners. The ideal set-up would be 4 canyoneers in a car or 6 canyoneers in a van to help split the costs for the vehicle, accommodations and guide and in case someone isn’t feeling good and needs a day off. Alternatively, a larger group of 8, 10 or 12 could work with Pascal and an assistant guide and would be even cheaper.

Ideal canyoneer: A good, adventurous all-rounder who is comfortable jumping 10 meters. While many/most of the jumps can be bypassed, the reality is that jumps and toboggans are essential ingredients in the appeal of Ticino and are faster than rigging ropes. There are few jumps above 10 meters and bypassing those can be easily arranged but 10 meters is a good minimum comfort level.

Solid rappelling, climbing and down-climbing skills are also essential along with a good level of aerobic fitness. Being able to comfortably run a 10k in less than 60 minutes would be another good minimal level given the demands of the Ticino canyons.

Ideal starting itinerary: Our only regret of the whole week is that we only got to tackle the “Bone Crusher” toboggan once. We are already planning a return trip and the agreed plan for the next time is to do Bodengo 1 & 2 on the first day and to leave Bodengo 3 for a more rested 2nd day with plenty of time to play on the jumps and toboggans.

As a bonus, the accommodations at Sosa Pincee are much more affordable than those in Ticino and Guiseppe and Matilde provide unrivalled homemade, locally sourced delicacies and wonderfully comfortable accommodations. While we are proud that we now hold Pascal’s record for the latest start in the day for running Bodengo 2 & 3, we look forward to a far more rested, more enjoyable start in 2016.

Tomorrow – Iragna Canyon.