Yahoo Canyons Group

Freeze Fest Accident Report

Date:

12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

Location:

28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

Injury:

Jacked Up Knee

Incidcent:

Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala. As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have ended. A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

Prevention:

It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). Perhaps a mylar-blanket-burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, not to get “all punchy punchy.” From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

Be safe out there.

Message Details

Authormrbrejcha
DateJanuary 14, 2010
Discussion7 replies
View original ↗
  • SO FUNNY! Nice, nice write up, Matt!

    — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “adventure_geek” wrote:

    That’s as funny as Matt’s article!

    > — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “todds_hiking_guide” wrote:

    Being stoked is also in the news:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/99487

    — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “mrbrejcha” wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala.

    As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have ended.

    A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). Perhaps a mylar-blanket-burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, not to get “all punchy punchy.”

    From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

    Be safe out there.

  • adventure_geek

    That’s as funny as Matt’s article!

    — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “todds_hiking_guide” wrote:

    Being stoked is also in the news: > http://www.theonion.com/content/node/99487

    — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “mrbrejcha” wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala.

    > As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have ended.

    > A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). Perhaps a mylar-blanket-burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, not to get “all punchy punchy.”

    > From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

    Be safe out there.

  • todds_hiking_guide

    Being stoked is also in the news: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/99487

    > — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “mrbrejcha” wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala.

    As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have ended.

    A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). Perhaps a mylar-blanket-burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, not to get “all punchy punchy.”

    From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

    Be safe out there.

    >

  • I have! It’s been around the block on the Interwebz! Dan being “viscously” attacked by Rob! A very thick man? Hahaha! And poor Malia is under the dogpile – note the snippet of orange jacket!

    — On Thu, 1/14/10, hank moon onkaluna@gmail.com> wrote:

    > From: hank moon onkaluna@gmail.com

    Subject: Re: [from Canyons Group] Re: Freeze Fest Accident Report > To: Yahoo Canyons Group

    Date: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 9:43 PM > i hope you have seen the accompanying > photo on the homepage!

    On Thu, Jan 14, 2010 at 10:35 PM, Randi advntr_inxs@yahoo.com

    wrote:

    > X2! That’s funny as hell Matt!  : )

    You ought to turn that into a rap song!

    Please!?!

    Hahahaha!

    — On Thu, 1/14/10, forum8fox forum8fox@yahoo.com

    > wrote:

    From: forum8fox Subject: [from Canyons Group] Re: Freeze Fest Accident > Report

    To: Yahoo Canyons Group

    Date: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 7:52 PM

    Hillarious!

    — In canyons@yahoogroups .com, “mrbrejcha” > wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax > Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, > tackled during a urination

    attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly > cost Mr. Heiniman a New

    Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, > was seen fleeing the

    scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala.

    > As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not > unprovoked. It appears Mr.

    Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for > reportedly being “way

    too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, > snow angels and Colorado

    beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle > ensued by the wood pile,

    but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation > was thought to have

    ended.

    > A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the > fire to relieve himself.

    At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a > menacing grin; then, at

    full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The > result was an epically

    stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need > to face facts here.

    Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One > minute you may be

    enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some > dude, the next you’re

    tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood > pile. In your”lost stoke

    craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but > tackling someone while they

    are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it > is into a river).

    Perhaps a mylar-blanket- burrito canyon-tantrum or a > burnout in a rented

    Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you > are feeling from

    losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to > remember, whatever you do,

    not to get “all punchy punchy.”

    > From the other point of view, similar incidents > can be avoided by never,

    ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential > tacklers.

    Be safe out there.

    >

    Â

    >

    When you post, please change the Subject appropriately, to > make reading and searching easier.  You can use the > following abbreviations: TRIP = Trip Report; BETA = Canyon > Beta; PARTNER = Partner and/or Rides; ETHICS = Ethics; TECH > = Technical Questions and Tips; BIZ = E Group Business; SALE > = Stuff for Sale.  Please use a Tilde ~ after the > abbreviation, so we know you are coding for us, such as:

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  • hank moon

    i hope you have seen the accompanying photo on the homepage!

    On Thu, Jan 14, 2010 at 10:35 PM, Randi advntr_inxs@yahoo.com> wrote:

    > X2! That’s funny as hell Matt! : ) > You ought to turn that into a rap song! > Please!?! > Hahahaha!

    — On Thu, 1/14/10, forum8fox forum8fox@yahoo.com

    wrote:

    From: forum8fox forum8fox@yahoo.com

    Subject: [from Canyons Group] Re: Freeze Fest Accident Report > To: Yahoo Canyons Group Hillarious!

    — In canyons@yahoogroups .com, “mrbrejcha” wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination > attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New > Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the > scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala.

    As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. > Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way > too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado > beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, > but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have > ended.

    A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. > At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at > full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically > stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. > Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be > enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re > tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke > craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they > are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). > Perhaps a mylar-blanket- burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented > Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from > losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, > not to get “all punchy punchy.”

    From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, > ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

    Be safe out there.

    >

  • X2! That’s funny as hell Matt!  : ) You ought to turn that into a rap song! Please!?! Hahahaha!

    — On Thu, 1/14/10, forum8fox forum8fox@yahoo.com> wrote:

    From: forum8fox forum8fox@yahoo.com> Subject: [from Canyons Group] Re: Freeze Fest Accident Report To: Yahoo Canyons Group Date: Thursday, January 14, 2010, 7:52 PM

    ÂÂ

    Hillarious!

    — In canyons@yahoogroups .com, “mrbrejcha” wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala. > As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have ended. > A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). Perhaps a mylar-blanket- burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, not to get “all punchy punchy.” > From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

    Be safe out there. >

  • forum8fox

    Hillarious!

    — In Yahoo Canyons Group, “mrbrejcha” wrote:

    Date:

    12.31.9 approximately 11 PM MST

    Location:

    28.8 miles SSE of Hanksville, Utah / Sandthrax Campsite

    Injury:

    Jacked Up Knee

    Incidcent:

    Rob Heineman was viscously, and ruthlessly, tackled during a urination attempt. The result was an injured knee that nearly cost Mr. Heiniman a New Years day Black Hole descent. The culprit, Dan Ransom, was seen fleeing the scene in a stolen red Chevrolet Impala. > As photo evidence suggests, Ransom was not unprovoked. It appears Mr. Heineman tackled Mr. Ransom out of his camp chair for reportedly being “way too stoked about half-ass margaritas, snake-juice, snow angels and Colorado beers.” After the chair tackling, a short scuffle ensued by the wood pile, but was quickly subdued by onlookers. The situation was thought to have ended. > A short time afterwards, Mr. Heiniman left the fire to relieve himself. At this time, Mr. Ransom was said to have given a menacing grin; then, at full speed, tackled the unsuspecting urinator. The result was an epically stoked-out Mr. Ransom and a wounded Mr. Heiniman.

    Prevention:

    It is easy to get “way stoked out,” but we need to face facts here. Getting stoked can be dangerous (and annoying). One minute you may be enjoying a half-ass margarita and chest bumping some dude, the next you’re tackled from your chair and scuffling by the wood pile. In your”lost stoke craze,” you may feel the urge for revenge, but tackling someone while they are urinating is not the correct behavior (unless it is into a river). Perhaps a mylar-blanket-burrito canyon-tantrum or a burnout in a rented Impala may be the best way to deal with the urges you are feeling from losing your stoke? Either way, it is important to remember, whatever you do, not to get “all punchy punchy.” > From the other point of view, similar incidents can be avoided by never, ever turning ones back to the fire, or potential tacklers.

    Be safe out there. >